I believe an act of kindness must be intentional and should be directed to a real immediate need, but it doesn’t have to be appreciated by the recipient. In other words, pure kindness resides within the giver. It’s not done for thanks or recognition. Intention is essential to an act of kindness. Kindness can be such a habit that it’s a way of life. The intention for each act is unexpressed, even unrealized, but it’s still present.
Did Mother Theresa get up every morning thinking, "time to get up and spread some kindness"? Of course not. Her whole life was an act of kindness.
Can an act of kindness be random? Yes, but random acts of kindness can be wasted or poorly received. A gift or “You’re perfect just the way you are” card left for a stranger to find may never be picked up. If it is picked up, it may be tossed aside or ridiculed.
That’s where directedness comes in. Donations given for flood or earthquake victims are directed to a real need, as are toys or food collected and distributed to poor families at Christmas.
Donating excess craft supplies to poor women in Africa, so they can craft a livelihood for their families, answers a real need. So does paying the difference for someone in the checkout line who finds they don’t have quite enough to satisfy the bill.
Letting someone out in heavy traffic is directed to help that person’s day go a little more smoothly. Not giving the finger to the guy who rudely cut in on you, doesn’t qualify. Sorry. That’s an act of self-restraint and self-preservation, not kindness – though it’s still a good thing.
Where the little “you’re perfect” cards and dropped off gifts fall short is in the incomplete directedness. The odds are great that they will NOT reach a person who needs the message or the gift. Your attempt at kindness may not bear fruit. What you intended as an act of kindness could end up being an act of litter!
You know Eileen, this is one I often struggle with...and, much as you, I have come to believe it is a deliberate act of intention and that intention does have to come on my part. And, while I have done the whole "drop" sort of thing, I've come to decide that isn't really what an act of kindness should be all about. Randomly doing acts of kindness for strangers is great, the young man who stopped and offered to change my flat tire, the woman behind us in line who offered the Little One the use of her 30% off coupon at Old Navy...acts of kindness that meant a great deal. Finding a slip of paper that says "You're great"...honestly, how would a stranger know?
ReplyDeleteMaybe my expectations are far too high in today's world?
What I do know is, I prefer to offer my act of kindness to a person I actually look at, because I want them to know that, even if I don't know them, I care about their well being as a part of this family of humanity. And, I am a firm believer that kindness does spread, it's like tossing that pebble into the pond...the waves are there, just with human interaction you cannot tell how long it takes the wave to spread. You do just sort of have to have faith that it will.
I love how you ended your thoughts, June: "kindness does spread ... like tossing that pebble into a pond."
ReplyDeleteIt's also like a rising tide which lifts all ships.
I wish the media would focus more on stories of kindness. That's why I love my "women's magazines". They frequently share stories of humanitarian efforts that started with one person and grew like the proverbial mustard seed.
So we'll just keep dropping our pebbles, hope for a rising tide , and watch our little mustard seeds grow huge.
Did I mix enough metaphors there? lol.
hi there every one - hope yous had a good one - doing the rounds and back from parents 12lbs heavier a`hhh , all the best for the comming year -
ReplyDeletemichael buely
You too, Michael!
ReplyDelete